Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So much rum. So many feels.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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