Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
