I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i believe in u and ur pee
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
