Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
