Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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