ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
