I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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