you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
