the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Small penises have feelings too.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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