I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
