haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just made out with a guy for $7.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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