Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
