pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
