Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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