drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
