very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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