chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
