oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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