Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
