God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
