dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize