I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
