it was like fucking gandolphs beard
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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