I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
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Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
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Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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