is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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