I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
