mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
