He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
