Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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