I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
