Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
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I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
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My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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