I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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