the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize