I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
