When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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