Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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