Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
