whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Boobs are out for the taking
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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