Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
