she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
