Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
