Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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