I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
