Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize