my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
