you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
