Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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