over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
