Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
