Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
