OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
