just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
