you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
