so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
