I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize