PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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