I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize