Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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