idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
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