Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dating After Heartbreak
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.