My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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