genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
