I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
